“Comparison is the stealer of joy.”
Is it just me, or do all mothers (even the well intentioned ones) compare their kids with others? One of my good mommy friends has a son who was born a day before TheBoy. Needless to say, I spent a lot of my first year as a mom comparing the two boys.
Who rolled first (and which way), whose front tooth cut in faster, who could sit up straighter, who spoke their first “real” word… and the list continues. Part of me wants to believe that I was only doing this for observational purposes (ha!) but I have to admit there were days I purposely pushed my bedroom mattress down in attempts to “help” TheBoy roll over faster.
Then there are other days when I look at my fellow mommy friends and think I’m the worst. mom. ever. I dont always buy organic food (even when starting solids), my toddler’s still in diapers (but not for a lack of trying on my part — not an excuse, I promise!), my house is rarely ever drop-in ready for company, I am rarely ever drop-in ready for company (I am a firm believer in wearing pjs all day if I am not going out — show of hands, who’s with me? Anyone?) and I bake with (wait for it…) Boxed. Cake. Mix.*gasp*
I could go on, but you get my hint 😀
This morning, however, after reading the quote above, I decided to reclaim my joy. Because really, comparing my son to his friend, or even myself to my mommy friends, is robbing ME of being thankful for all that I have been blessed with. There will always be another kid who potty trains faster or learns his ABCs quicker. Or another mom whose kitchen is cleaner, with more kids to look after. And that’s OK. Kudos to them! In the meantime, I want to enjoy my kids and not fuss about the little things.
Instead of being grateful for a happy and healthy toddler who is smart, kind and super silly, I focus too much time on the negatives (although dropping the diapers anytime now would wonderful!). In the end, no one is perfect. And that’s the beauty of being a Christian. We’re flawed. He isnt. We fail. He is perfect. We stumble. He is there to pick us up and guide us. Show us how to be better. And with His help, I am slowly learning what it means to be a good mom. A JOYFUL mom.
Do you find you compare your kids or yourself to others? If so, how do you avoid doing so?
Have a wonderful weekend,